There’s this scene in the Lion King where the wise baboon says “Change is good” and this conversation creates a newfound determination in the movie’s hero.
Sure, sometimes change is good. We have been fighting through change throughout our marriage. We changed jobs, changed careers, changed apartments. While that change can sometimes lead to better situations, it is also as easily fraught with pain, loss and depression. Right now, we’ve managed to have our first 9 months of steady employment since getting married. We’re paying down some of the mountain of debt from the horrendous toll all these changes took on our finances. We recently spent our fourth anniversary at the same place we got married. We saw some good examples of things not changing:
Right now, we’re semi stable. We’ve even got the ability for the first time to maybe save more than $200.
The internet is rife with inspirational change quotes. Some of which also joke about how unwilling we are to change ourselves. Overall, the connotation attached to the word is positive.
And while Becky and I enjoy our first few months ever of stability, I’ve got to say this whole change thing is 90 percent bullshit.
So yeah, we’re enjoying a few moments of stability, and around us, in friends and colleagues, we see so much change this month:
- An uncle let go after 11 years with a company right before the holidays
- A colleague whose mother reached the end of treatment for terminal cancer
- A mother who is reaching one year away from her husband due to illness
- A dear friend who had a much loved dog die
- A friend who is having to piece together new yoga venues to continue working
- The closest thing Becky had to a grandfather died
- Another friend has an immune system that decided it hates her and won’t stop attacking her
And in this brief eye of the life hurricane between the last shit storm and the next, we feel guilty for having this respite and not being able to help as it hits so many others we know. We’ve been hunkered away from the world for a while now. All I want to do is hug everyone involved for hours. We do what we are able, but it’s so little.
Changes will continue to come. People try big changes in life every year around this time. We’re waiting to see what is next in the ever-changing saga of us and how it will impact us in the new year. Our resolution is to have things be the same for a damn minute. Change sucks. We’re hoping for a few more months of not-change for a change. Same goes for friends and colleagues.