skating at landmark

We hope the new year brings you not-change

There’s this scene in the Lion King where the wise baboon says “Change is good” and this conversation creates a newfound determination in the movie’s hero.

Change lion king


Sure, sometimes change is good. We have been fighting through change throughout our marriage. We changed jobs, changed careers, changed apartments. While that change can sometimes lead to better situations, it is also as easily fraught with pain, loss and depression. Right now, we’ve managed to have our first 9 months of steady employment since getting married. We’re paying down some of the mountain of debt from the horrendous toll all these changes took on our finances. We recently spent our fourth anniversary at the same place we got married. We saw some good examples of things not changing:

Rice Park Night
Rice Park will always be beautiful at Christmas
Davina will always be the embodiment of Awesome.
Davina will always be the embodiment of Awesome.
Tea at St. Paul Hotel
Tea at the St. Paul Hotel is way more delightful than it should be.

Right now, we’re semi stable. We’ve even got the ability for the first time to maybe save more than $200.

The internet is rife with inspirational change quotes. Some of which also joke about how unwilling we are to change ourselves. Overall, the connotation attached to the word is positive.

change quote

And while Becky and I enjoy our first few months ever of stability, I’ve got to say this whole change thing is 90 percent bullshit.

horrible inspiration
Some people look at this picture and see an inspirational theme. It’s been put on “BELIEVE” posters. But it’s also pretty f-ing sadistic.


So yeah, we’re enjoying a few moments of stability, and around us, in friends and colleagues, we see so much change this month:

  • An uncle let go after 11 years with a company right before the holidays
  • A colleague whose mother reached the end of treatment for terminal cancer
  • A mother who is reaching one year away from her husband due to illness
  • A dear friend who had a much loved dog die
  • A friend who is having to piece together new yoga venues to continue working
  • The closest thing Becky had to a grandfather died
  • Another friend has an immune system that decided it hates her and won’t stop attacking her


And in this brief eye of the life hurricane between the last shit storm and the next, we feel guilty for having this respite and not being able to help as it hits so many others we know. We’ve been hunkered away from the world for a while now. All I want to do is hug everyone involved for hours. We do what we are able, but it’s so little.

Changes will continue to come. People try big changes in life every year around this time. We’re waiting to see what is next in the ever-changing saga of us and how it will impact us in the new year. Our resolution is to have things be the same for a damn minute. Change sucks. We’re hoping for a few more months of not-change for a change. Same goes for friends and colleagues.

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4 thoughts on “We hope the new year brings you not-change

  1. I’ll toast to you both a year of not-change. I get what you mean-particularly in the butterfly print. By the way, Becky is stunning in the picture with Davina and you both look so good in the tea pic. Stability suits you.

    1. man, it’s taken several attempts to get a pic of Becky with Davina that turned out. Every time we tried at the Dakota club, it was so dark Becky just looked like a ghost! So glad we finally got one that really captured them both 🙂 Thanks!

  2. There are some changes I would definitely welcome. Namely, any change that results in huge piles of money coming my way.
    Every other change can jog on. I’ve had my share and I don’t want any more.

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