Loons are assholes

Becky has always been a huge fan of Loons. Whether at the cabin near Pelican Rapids, at the lake we drive by each morning, or elsewhere, she’s always on the lookout for loons. Here’s a pic of a loon we saw at Voyageurs National Park two years ago.

Loon
Credit: N.A. and C.B.

When we were in Itasca in July, we spent a whole day sitting and reading by the lake. Never saw a loon. Throughout our four days, we never saw a loon. We were taking our one last drive around the park’s scenic drive, and at the last lake, we came down the hill and saw one a hundred feet out.

He dove into the water, but not until we got to wave hello. It was as if he had been waiting for us to come over the hill and knew Becky needed to see him before we headed back home.

One thing I did learn on this trip though, is that loon parents are assholes. I read about it in a book about loons at the Itasca gift shop. Also confirmed it online.

Free ride loon

Sure they let the baby loons sit on their backs for the first couple weeks, and it’s ADORABLE, but…

Then after 11 weeks, the parents up and fly away. Before the kids have learned to find their own food, defend themselves, or even fly! They aren’t even given so much as a road map to the new digs once it comes time to migrate.

Loon abandonment

They just abandon the kids. Some people say this is to leave more food in the lake for them, but that’s bullshit. One more loon or two isn’t going to drain a lake of resources. Deadbeat parents! And these are our state birds?

So listen up, loons, you need to be a better example to your kids and for Minnesota. We aren’t here to just leave your children in our lakes as wards of the state. You are better than this. So stop it!

Loon logo

That is all.

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