Crossover wits picture

How Wits Helped Us Find Friends/Why You Need A Becky in Your Life

Making friends as an adult sucks. There’s a reason the gangs on TV are already friends when the show starts – Friends, Marry Me, My Boys, Cougartown, Cheers, etc. (with the requisite “new guy” that can have things explained to the audience through them that they would otherwise have no reason to say out loud ((with the exception of the new documentary format shows))).

seinfeld thingy friends

The older you get, the more difficult it becomes. For most of our lives growing up, even through college, the main determining factor is closeness. If you live next door/go to my class/live in my dorm, odds are that will create the necessary bond.

After college, though, it becomes much more difficult, particularly grad school when everyone you know moves back to their home state.

Social media has helped/hurt this. It’s easier to keep in contact with friends, but that may also make it more difficult to open up to new people. We also get to converse with new people online that become strong and amazing supporters and once in a blue moon we get to meet IRL (Hi Kari!).

This is why it’s so important to have a Becky in your life. When we are out at events, especially Wits shows, she’ll think nothing of whipping around and joining an overheard conversation while I’m busy trying to be clever on twitter. She also has an uncanny ability to just know what to compliment people about.

Usually, when I’m at an event, I’m trying my best to keep my large self from invading my stranger neighbor, I don’t breathe as deep, I lean into Becky.

At the Wits and Thrilling Adventure Hour crossover event, we were having a great time. At intermission, Becky got up to get a drink, when she came back, she leans over me and throws out a “I love your outfit!” at the girl next to me. They chat a bit. The lights go down. And we sit through the rest of the show.

As we get ready to leave, Becky whips out her personal business cards she had made for her job hunt and asks the stranger to email her.

Next thing you know, they are emailing back and forth, we’re meeting another couple a month later for an after Wits drink and hanging out. A crossover podcast led to a new friendship. There’s something to that.

Distance and timing and unemployment keeps us from getting out much, but we’ve been able to schedule a couple get-togethers. It’s been lovely getting to know them, also recent transplants to the cities, but from farther away. They have a fascinating background and a great sense of humor. And maybe Becky will be able to learn how to knit.

Best of all, they often say just the perfect thing that helps Becky deal with a stress that she’s been fighting for months. Becky does likewise with them, because at some level, we’re all just a ball of self doubt and worry and need some validation.

We love Wits, as has been documented many times on this blog. I also love The Thrilling Adventure Hour and will mourn the day their final episode airs. This was a Christmas gift from Becky:

Frank & Sadie & Gin & Tonic

And having Wits in common with complete strangers is enough of a basis for “let’s hang out,” more even, than “hey, you live next to me, let’s hang out.”

Though part of me silently freaks out when Becky jumps headlong into conversations with strangers because I’m an introverted wimp, I also know she’s got a bravery for such things and an ESP for knowing which strangers can be fascinating people that can lead to new adventures that I do not. I admire her for it, and thank my stars that we are together.

Cheers ding

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7 thoughts on “How Wits Helped Us Find Friends/Why You Need A Becky in Your Life

  1. Anyway, I am generally a pretty extroverted person. I have no problem diving into a conversation I overhear in public, etc., but when it comes to making new friends, I am much more cautious. It’s harder than dating, because if you are dating someone and it doesn’t work out, you can always blame chemistry or say “let’s just be friends”, but if you are friends with someone and it doesn’t work out, then you just sort of have to go back to being strangers. In a lot of ways it is much more painful than breaking up with a romantic partner.
    Or worse, if I want to be friends with someone and they don’t want to be friends with me, then it’s like they are basically rejecting all of who I am as a person, right? It’s not like with dating if just that they didn’t find me attractive, or they’re seeing someone else, or whatever. They just don’t like being around me. OUCH.

    1. It is a weird risk in becoming friends as an adult. When Becky first met me, she pretty much brought up every reason ever I might not want to be with her, sort of her defense mechanism to the above. She did that with you, too, in a way. She comes on super strong, and if you survive the onslaught and still want to hang out, she’s a loyal pitbull who will shank someone on your behalf 🙂

  2. I’d friend you both, but I’m probably getting on the mom side of your age bracket. Another challenge as adults is so many different age spans and hutting it off with people but being in very different life circles is a challenge. Though as I get older, I do appreciate the differences in types of friends.

    1. I think we appreciate that too, but it is an odd thing that when out and about, it’s less likely to bump into someone 10 years on either side and have it click for whatever reason. I can’t imagine hanging out with my 25 year old self who would be up until 2 in the morning most nights and never napped. No way I could keep up with that guy. I’ve grown much more into a grumpy gus about nights out and how much a drink costs at a bar.

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